It definitely sounds interesting and I wanna know what Donald will do now that his wife started a new life. However, I think that you should be a bit more descriptive and it would help if you did not name the character. Good job though! ^_^
Much of my comments have been said above... I'd like perhaps a bit more detail on Donald (minus the name) and the war, unless the war is less important in the script, in which case it would help to put that part in the past tense perhaps (put the focus on what happens when he gets back home)?
Sounds good, but I don't think you're suppose to name your character, other than that, good.
ReplyDeletethanks!
DeleteI like how you told us where Donald is coming back from and how we don't know what is going to happen, it makes me want to read the story.
ReplyDeleteBeing a bit more descriptive is my only negative comment to add! Everything else is great!
thanks!
DeleteIt definitely sounds interesting and I wanna know what Donald will do now that his wife started a new life. However, I think that you should be a bit more descriptive and it would help if you did not name the character. Good job though! ^_^
ReplyDeleteMuch of my comments have been said above... I'd like perhaps a bit more detail on Donald (minus the name) and the war, unless the war is less important in the script, in which case it would help to put that part in the past tense perhaps (put the focus on what happens when he gets back home)?
ReplyDelete